Pattaya Parties

Give Me Some Hot Stuff Baby This Evening: I don’t know if the word ‘sophistication’ and ‘Pattaya’ can realistically be used in the same sentence when referring to night (and afternoon, for that matter) entertainment venues employing damsels of easy virtue, but there really seems to be a sea-change shift in much of the newer places opening about Fun Town.

By no means would I call the Hotties Club, which officially opened its sliding doors for business with a big bash on Saturday night 1 December, ‘sophisticated’, but I would call it ‘fun’. The joint, another of the strangely-named coyote dance clubs, is situated at the back of the new beer boozer complex located almost opposite Mike Shopping Mall on Second Road. My understanding is the entire area has in fact been put together by the eponymous Mike.

It was standing room only as you can imagine at the opening, but I would think it will do quite well in the long run as its floor-to-ceiling windows allow punters to watch what’s going on in the beer boozers as well as the action in the air-conditioned den. The place is owned by the well-known Khun Lek, the operator of the long-running Classroom 2000 gogo and Honeypot shake-your-butt club in Soi 2. This is the furthest south Lek and her sister Khun Toy have ventured in their bar-operating career for some time, but they have a friendly foreign manager, a live band playing good older popular music, a DJ who also spins discs that would be familiar to most people, and, most importantly, plenty of ladies of nocturnal habits and professional acumen. Most are friendly and interact with the customers. Libations are reasonably priced with house liver wasters at 95 baht.

Going to the Devil and Back: It’s very hard to recommend a place you’ve only had a strictly business-style relationship with (no sniggering, it’s true, despite the rumours going around), but I think I’m fairly safe in suggesting the Hell Club in Soi LK Metro is well worth investing an hour-and-a-half of your precious time, especially if you are into trios and energetic activities involving mattresses, baby oil, rubber tools and the odd electrical appliance. I have two friends -this fact comes as a great shock to most people I might add- who have enjoyed the very hands-on facilities and activities offered by the ladies employed in the Hell Club and since the management offer a ‘satisfaction guaranteed or your money back’ deal then it really is worth a look. They also cater to the odd fetish or two, although if you’d like to have a lady play John Philip Sousa’s ‘Star and Stripes Forever’ on a mouth organ while dressed as an Argentine admiral you may have to come back another time. Just be aware if you do want to check out the lying-in facilities you’ve got to be well and truly ‘up for it’, as my Pommy mates say.

No More Kitty Litter: Lanky Bob, who first started propping up an end of an gogo bar way back in about 1995, sold his share in the Catz agogo(Soi 16, Covent Garden Complex) at the end of October to a young American investor. The Birmingham, England native may well have put his cue in the rack but when I asked him what his future plans might entail he said he certainly wouldn’t be doing anything for at least six months, although he has given up smoking. During the course of conversation he did use the words ‘gay’ and ‘bar’ in the same sentence, but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t completely turned turtle and become an uphill gardener in his dotage.

Cheapest in Town? The New Living Dolls 1 gogo (Walking Street) can probably lay claim to the cheapest and longest (in terms of time per night) happy hours in Fun Town. The den kicks into life around 8:00PM and the happy hour offers libations from draught amber, house liver wasters and Thai rotgut for just 39 baht. I don’t know how they’re making any money at that price, with most other happy hours around town being more in the 45-55 baht range. The line-up of dancing damsels is a pretty good one compared to a lot of other places, although most are hard-core veterans in terms of time spent in the bar-finable trenches. They, like most chrome pole huggers who’ve spent a few months or even years honing their wallet-emptying skills can pick a potential ‘mark’ within four and a half seconds of the punter traversing the threshold.

Read More...

The worst lovers in the world are German men because they are too selfish in bed, a new survey reveals.

Second in the poll of 10,000 women in 50 countries were Swedish men, who are too quick.

Men from the Netherlands were third worst because they are too rough.

Americans (too dominant) were fourth, followed by Welsh men (too sentimental), Scots (too loud) and Turks (too sweaty). English men were tenth (too chubby). The women were quizzed on social networking site WAYN.com.

Spokesman Peter Ward said: ''Who would have thought Welshmen were better lovers than Swedes? But I would remind girls, it takes two to tango.''

Italian men were voted the best lovers followed by males from France, Ireland, South Africa, Australia, Spain, Denmark, New Zealand, Brazil and Canada.

- Bangkok Post