Pattaya Parties

Stop Press Items:
You may be aware of the police crackdown on shows and showing etc, anyway, as of Wednesday night there are two major gogo's closed for up to 60 days: Classroom 2000 in Soi 2; and Heaven Above in Soi Diamond. The latter was due to celebrate their third anniversary on 23 August. I'm told the dancers from Heaven Above will be working out of Living Dolls Showcase until the den re-opens. What's Up in Soi 15 were similarly charged but they paid off the police and areopen!!

A Licence to Drink and Cavort: The issue of licensing is one that seems to have really reared its official head in recent times with uniformed types swooping on places all over the city in an effort to make sure everyone is complying or trading within the letter of the law. Those who fail to have the correct paperwork face fines and closures and one popular place that came under the official microscope was the Boxing Roo beer boozer on Third Road. I’m told they didn’t have the correct bits of paper and as of this issue going to press will remain closed until 23 August.

The news was a bit tough on the Wednesday evening quiz brigade, the Boxing Roo team having previously played for many years out of the old Fawlty Towers boozer and noshery in Soi 7. When it suddenly closed the team leaders went in search of a new venue and finished up picking the Boxing Roo. While the Roo remains closed, their home games are being played out of the Bowling Green boozer and nosh house (Soi X-Zyte).

The Importance of Being Around: If ever there was any doubt that the success of some places of entertainment can centre just as much around the personality of the owner or the manager as the dancing damsels, then the Living Dolls Showcase chrome pole show bar (Walking Street) is a case in point. Captain Picard has run a pretty efficient ship in his time at the helm but a few months ago he began feeling unwell and whatever ailed him kept hanging around like an undertaker at a nursing home. As he was forced to spend less time in the den, the lunatics gradually took more and more charge of the asylum with the result, according to my sources, showgirls started leaving and customer numbers and takings were noticeably down. The Captain has now regained his former robust health, reclaimed the helm and many of the showgirls have returned so that Living Dolls Showcase is now once again doing good business.

A Good Hideaway: After looking for a time as if it was headed for the Fun Town history bin, I’m happy to say the Spicy Girls ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) is still very much alive and kicking. After a brief attempt at trying to woo people who like to watch soccer, the management have returned to the tried and tested formula of having chrome pole molesters shuffling about in skimpy outfits. The music remains different to most dens in that all car alarm is thankfully banished. The dance stage has been renovated and each night the dancing damsels are attired in something a little different; the night I was in I thought the costumes were quite alluring. There are about 18-20 dancers on the books and most are friendly enough, with a couple very easy on the eye.

Formerly known as Papillon, the den changed ownership and name in February 1999 with the Elephant Man and Ewan taking the reins. Four years later the Elephant Man sold his share to Panda, who became the senior partner when Ewan sold out in May 2006. Spicy Girls is more an ex-pats hangout than a tourist trap as most of the latter tend to keep wandering in the direction of Walking Street.

What’s in a Name? The Memories ogling den (Soi LK Metro) is just that, a memory. It has recently been sold and retains its chrome pole status, but the name, Gorkle, has me baffled. Is this some kind of Lithuanian vegetable? A Jamaican love potion? The phrase one must use when purchasing condoms in a back alley in Mogadishu? Well, whatever the name means (if anything), the layout is pretty much the same as the old Memories, but there are definitely more chrome pole molesters plying their trade from its portals, including one young lady who is very well known in a couple of the more prominent ogling dens of Walking Street. When I asked her why she had moved away from the ‘spotlight’ she claimed “too many people know me.” I think she meant ‘know’ in the Biblical sense.

Long-time bar proper-upper Jacko has moved from his meeting and greeting duties around the corner in the quietly-achieving Hell Club to a more ‘drinking’ and sociable role in Gorkle as of the last week or so of August.

Around and About: The Nui’s 2 ogling den (Walking Street) has re-opened faster than a wallet-emptier can say ‘short time’. The rapid renovation surprisingly didn’t involve the installation of the now almost de rigueur water feature: namely, a Jacuzzi. The front does look attractive and I would think business may have picked up since the changes.

Although it has been open for a few weeks, the official re-opening party for the Paradise ogling den (Soi Buakhow) took place on Tuesday night 31 July. The den has a happy hour until 9:00PM offering bottled amber fluid for just 55 baht and bar fines are only 450 baht. The place opens at 3:00PM on Tuesdays and Fridays, perhaps this is to try and take advantage of the Soi Buakhow Market days.

The Club Oasis ogling den (Soi Buakhow) has been opening at 1:00PM for a few weeks now and I’m told plans are to continue with the new format for the foreseeable future. The quality of chrome pole hugger in the afternoon shift leaves a lot to be desired, but at least it’s a good place to while away an hour or so in air-conditioned comfort. Night-time remains the best period to visit the den as the quality of chrome pole hugger improves exponentially.

The strongest competition at present to Club Oasis is undoubtedly the Champagne chrome pole joint in Soi LK Metro. On many previous occasions when I’ve been into the place I haven’t been greatly impressed: nothing particularly bad, but nothing to get excited about either. Right now I have to say I think it’s one of the better places away from Walking Street and it’s certainly doing good business, much of it of the repeat variety I would imagine.

Even at the height of the popularity of the soi, the All Girls ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 2) was pretty much the worst of the chrome pole joints. It has now closed its benighted doors and a sign outside says it is available for rent. A strong rumour suggests negotiations with an interested party, an Englishman, are under way and so we may yet see the place re-open for business in the next month or two. I’m told if the negotiations are successful the place will have a name change and will also be renovated to give it a much-needed new look.

Further up Pattayaland Soi 2, the Kitten Club den of chrome and stone has its adherents, although I have to say I find the place more and more like a rabbit warren with most of the dancers about as welcoming as a dose of myxomatosis. It usually has 15 to 20 ladies of the chrome pole shuffle with three or four reasonable lookers. The best part, naturally, is the bathtub, where two or three dancers tend to be absorbed in the cleansing properties of soap and water. Basically, it’s another place that is long past its heyday.

Across the road, the Rodeo Girls ogling den could possibly lay claim to being the best on the street at present. I wandered in a couple of weeks after the Coyotee’s dance contest, and while the quality wasn’t brilliant it was certainly better than many other places around town. Music is average car alarm, lady drinks are 110 baht, house liver wasters and lolly water 99 baht, with the ‘attraction’ for imbibers being draught amber at 69 baht. The den opens at 4:00PM and closes at 1:00AM and most of the damsels, and certainly the serving wenches, are a friendly crew.

Club Boesche (Soi 16, Covent Garden Complex) is now kicking off at 8:30PM and going on into the early hours (3:00AM and beyond). Part of the reason for the later start is that they don’t have a happy hour, so customers tend to be thin on the stools until after 9:00PM.

Rambling Ricky will be opening his new den of the chrome pole on or about 6 September (a Thursday night). To be called Sisterz, it is on the site of the old Honey ogling den. I don’t know of the large sign saying ‘Honey A Go Go & Beer Bar’ is going to be moved.
Tall Paul from The Dollhouse ogling den (Walking Street) will be moving a little further south on the main drag and taking up the managerial duties in the FLB lounge lizard libation room as of 1 September, replacing Rambling Ricky. A new man of warm handshakes will move into the meeting and greeting duties in the Dollhouse.
The Secrets lounge lizard libation room, noshery and sleeping palace (Soi 14) will be celebrating its first birthday with a big bash on 1 September. Should be a packed house that night.
Congratulations to the Heaven Above chrome pole palace (Soi Diamond) who celebrate three years of successful trading with a Hawaiian Beach Party night on Thursday 23 August.
Finally, the Super Model ogling den, also in Soi Diamond, never managed to get much past a year in business, certainly not under the same management. The doors are firmly shut and I’m told the lessee is having no luck finding anyone interested in purchasing the property.

Piece of Pith: ‘This isn’t England or Germany, Mr Wormold. Girls grow up quickly in the tropics.’ (taken from Our Man in Havana, Graham Greene, p. 8)